I have spent most of 2019 in psychiatric hospitals and had no hope. I left the recent hospital I was in, believing there was absolutely no future for me, that all my life would be is just a revolving door from one hospital to the next. Or worse – I would die! Leaving my family and friends in devastation.
Not only has my mental health been in a desperate state with severe symptoms of PTSD and dissociation; my physical and spiritual state has been neglected and has suffered also.
I had always prided myself on being physically active and fit, sporty and athletic, healthy and adventurous. These last few years all of that has been in disarray. I put on 5 stone in one year, I now weigh 15 stone, the largest I have ever been. I am spotty, uncomfortably overweight, wearing mens XL clothing, confidence has plummeted and I have hid myself away and stopped connecting with and loving the world, ashamed and afraid, and living in guilt. I lost my smile and zest for life.
You will be pleased to know that 2 weeks ago today I made a decision once and for all – that absolutely no way can I die! I have to live and I have to make it the best life I possibly can. I started “talking life” back to myself and my brain chemistry has shifted from deep depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts and hearing commanding voices every day and night to now relief and hope for a future.
I have started exercising regularly and eating a healthy diet. In fact I am starting a 30 day detox tomorrow – I did this a few years back and it was the healthiest I ever felt!
I know I am not alone and want to reach out to anyone who wants to join me on a recovery journey to fullness of life, health, wellness, fitness and happiness.
I am taking my first positive step on this new road… here goes… hope you enjoy the ride and come along with me too! If you need some positive encouragement to transform yourself, I am here – cheering you on.
Love Tracey x