Last night was a tough night. Last night was the first time I dissociated since leaving hospital at the end of November. It started by my left hand going completely numb, I then switched to a child-like state, didn’t make any sense and was mostly zoned out.
I managed to ground relatively quickly. I smelt the lavender putty and passed my weighted ball from hand to hand. This brought me back to my body, and brought me back to the present again. Smells are so effective for grounding. Lavender is my favourite as it reminds me of my dear Nanny June.
Dissociating is very scary for the individual experiencing it and for those witnessing what is going on. The most important thing carers/family members/friends/health professionals can do is to help the individual feel reassured that they are safe, draw their attention to the present, and use grounding objects or strategies.
I am scared that I switched so dramatically so quickly again, it means my condition is still very much there. But, I am determined to continue my journey of doing everything I can to help myself, to keep battling on and to have the fullest life I can.
I have set myself a challenge of reading a new book every week, mostly, to read motivational and inspirational books. If anyone has any recommendations please send them my way.
I am doing everything I can to put in place things that bring me joy each day. Today I saw some lovely friends, was so good to see them. I am now currently enjoying a hot drink in front of the log burner fire, taking it easy. A day off from the gym today. I am learning how to be kind to myself, to put my mental wellbeing first.
I am sad that I had that episode yesterday, but I am so pleased I got myself out of it and that it didn’t last long. That’s progress.