Sadly people that have suffered childhood abuse and trauma do not always develop the fullness of emotional regulation and self-compassion, vital components in keeping yourself safe and surviving in life. The abuse tells the person they do not have a voice, they are worthless and do not matter. This produces pathways in the brain that are self-destructive and people who have experienced childhood trauma will often self-sabotage. Un-learning what the abuse taught them and re-learning self-love, self-care and compassion is vital to improving mental health and potentially in saving lives.
I am only learning now how to self-sooth and show myself compassion. I am absorbing teachings from books, podcasts, audiobooks on the subject. I am also looking at the world through healed eyes now and seeing my worth, value and how much I am loved for just being me.
Teaching self-compassion from a young age is the best thing you can do for your child’s mental health. Expressing through creativity is another great way that both children and adults can use to keep safe and well. I loved art therapy and got a lot from that. I also enjoy magazine collaging, writing poetry and journalling. Self-expression is important, acknowledging and sitting with emotions and then letting them go is another key part of allowing yourself self-compassion. It doesn’t mean to dwell, but it does mean to be real and not sweep anything under the carpet.
You matter, you are valued, you are top priority, you are important. What you feel matters, what you experience matters. Your voice is heard and listened too. Remember you are loved and cared for, you are of great worth. You deserve the best life.